Last On The List

There are only so many times that a person can get pushed to the side without feeling hurt. What does it take for someone to see what they are doing to another person?
For a longtime I was used to do everything myself cooking cleaning and workinng and when I was working yes there where things that I liked like my nails and hair done and my eyebrows waxed anything that any woman would want.
I was not to much into the clothes area but I like shoes. Anyway I would make sure that everyone else had what they needed before I did anything for myself and if there was something that needed to be done then I pushed it back.
For awhile now I have been ill. There is no way that I can do what I was doing. Bad enough that I worked longer then I should.
Now that I can not do what I was doing I am being put to the bottom of the list. I am no child I know that I can not have everything and I do not want that. I can not tell you the last time my nails where done and my eyebrows Eww if you could see them now.
I have no say in anything that goes on and all I want to do is SCREAM!!!
I am at a point where I can not get up and have to have surgery done and I feel that I do not want to have it done. I get looks when he has to make dinner and comments. What does he think that does to me I feel bad enough all that is going on. I still get up and cook even though it causes me pain because I would rather do that then have him acting like he has to do it all.
Mind you there was a long time that he was in the hospital for periods of time and I worked 12 hours brought him what he needed spent time with him and then took care of the house. I did not have a car then it was all on foot or bus. Now I feel like I am nothing.
I do not know what to do anymore feeling like this is not helping and being treated like this from all around is not good.
I have always given everyone a shoulder when they needed it now when I need it I am not worth it.