BBW in a skinny women's world: 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Trying to get a Grip

When you are used to working cooking cleaning etc.. still while going out and having a good time then you have to go to doing almost nothing all you want to do it pull your hair out.

These past few months have been agony. Not being able to work or do anything that I want to. Washing dishes even gets me tired. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! This is bull. Then to top it all off there are the people that say well if you just lost some weight then you would be ok. They should ask before they judge the problems that I am having are for people of all sizes and has nothing to do with your waist line. That is another story.

It is bad anough that when you are big you are looked at like an alien but then when you are sick they look at you worse then that.

So being between a rock and a hard place what I am going to do is try to make the best of things and make a living from my living room where no one case see my size and take me for the experience that I have.

There are a couple more blogs that I am going to follow that are really good and help you get those first steps to freebies and contests not so hard. Follow them as well who does not like free????

Saturday, April 30, 2011

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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Last On The List

There are only so many times that a person can get pushed to the side without feeling hurt. What does it take for someone to see what they are doing to another person?
For a longtime I was used to do everything myself cooking cleaning and workinng and when I was working yes there where things that I liked like my nails and hair done and my eyebrows waxed anything that any woman would want.
I was not to much into the clothes area but I like shoes. Anyway I would make sure that everyone else had what they needed before I did anything for myself and if there was something that needed to be done then I pushed it back.
For awhile now I have been ill. There is no way that I can do what I was doing. Bad enough that I worked longer then I should.
Now that I can not do what I was doing I am being put to the bottom of the list. I am no child I know that I can not have everything and I do not want that. I can not tell you the last time my nails where done and my eyebrows Eww if you could see them now.
I have no say in anything that goes on and all I want to do is SCREAM!!!
I am at a point where I can not get up and have to have surgery done and I feel that I do not want to have it done. I get looks when he has to make dinner and comments. What does he think that does to me I feel bad enough all that is going on. I still get up and cook even though it causes me pain because I would rather do that then have him acting like he has to do it all.
Mind you there was a long time that he was in the hospital for periods of time and I worked 12 hours brought him what he needed spent time with him and then took care of the house. I did not have a car then it was all on foot or bus. Now I feel like I am nothing.
I do not know what to do anymore feeling like this is not helping and being treated like this from all around is not good.
I have always given everyone a shoulder when they needed it now when I need it I am not worth it.